Don't let living get in the way of life

Recently my friends have been asking "What is wrong" when I am silent for longer than five mins. My answer.. "Life stuff". How can I describe to them the effect of living your life backwards? I am living in Boise Idaho, the place where I started my great jounry. So my eyes believe that I haven't really grown or changed. My heart and mind know -but I have to stop myself from telling the people at the Boise Co-op that recognize me from before, "Look I have changed, I have grown I'm not the same person I was...". So I don't talk about it, and I stare off into the ever changing Idaho landscape.